Holy Housebreaker


Centicles is an elderly human with blue eyes & white hair, mustache, & beard. He wears a brick red winter jacket, pants, & hat, all with white fur trim. His accessories include a black belt, boots, & whip. He often carries a large brown sack over one shoulder.


Centicles began his adult life the apprentice to a carpenter who would one day become king. Eventually he settled into his own practice and married. As fine of a carpenter as he was, and he was, he and his wife could not make a child together. His carpentry was well sought after in his local village and the surrounding hills, whether it be furniture or utencils.

One early morning, while out on his constitutional, he spotted two fey creatures jumping and shouting for joy as they left the local cobbler’s house. They were pleased as punch with the new clothing they had been gifted, and their gaeity was contagious. He offered to provide drinks at hsi abode to the two small fellows, but they graciously declined. Instead, they countered with an invitation to drinks at their hidden village in the forest.

Caught up in the euphoria of the moment, he accepted. They drank, shared stories, swapped craft trade tips, and were otherwise merry. After seven days, Centicles begrudging left their company, promising to return. Hoping that his wife would be forgiving, he told her the story of his time with the fey. However, as it had only been a mere seven hours to her she dismissed it as a drunken hallucination.

Happy at his stroke of luck, Centicles went on to spend a day with his new found friends each morning. Sometimes he would return with fey trinkets which he would secretly place in the pockets or loose hoods of the village children, or claim to pull out of their ear before their estonished eyes. As he and his wife grew older, they became a third set of beloved grandparents to the local children.

One day a herald of the gods visited Centicles. The children of the world were becoming more violent, more lustful, and more disobedient. Only in the village of Centicles were children still as pure and naive as the previous generations. The gods had an offer for him. They would give him the tools he needed if he would but treat all of the chidren of the world, human and non-human, as he treated the children of his village. He readily accepted.

So the gods granted him the Checklist of Deeds which listed every child in the world. For each child the magical parchment told him if they were naughty or nice. The gods also granted him the Sleigh of Potence, which was run by eight winged reindeer. It could carry any weight and any volume, yet the driver could instantly pull out the exact item or items he desired. It could run along any surface, or even fly through the air, and the winged reindeer never tired. Finally, the gods granted Centicles and his wife the longevity of the elves, while letting them retain ther human forms.

Over the years the children of the world began to see that their actions had consequences. Naughty children had their stockings filled with coal during the night, even when they tried their best to prevent or catch their reverse burglar. Meanwhile nice children received gifts, each suited to their own natures. Yet even the nice children rarely caught more than a glipse of Centicles out of the corner of their eyes.

Eventually, as the sentient races continued to spread above and below the earth, the workload began to become too great for Centicles. It was then that his friends from the fey village invited his wife and him to join them in the forest. There, with the magic of feytime on his side, Centicles was once again able to make ready the gifts and coal needed for the children of the world in time for each Winter Solstice.

Yet, over the generations the sentience races continued to multiply even further. Even though Centicles and his fey friends were able to generate enough toys and coal for the children within the year allotted to them, Centicles was finding it more and more difficult to deliver it all in one night. They fey were unable to extend feytime beyond their home, so Centicles, his wife, and his friends all prayed to the gods for an answer.

Shortly there after good-aligned males from most of the sentient races of the world set aside their jobs and said goodbye to family and friends. They followed the gods’ calling to travel the world—unsure of their destination, only knowing the direction they must go. They arrived at the fey village, ready to serve. And so Centicles began the process of training and disguising his surrogate assistants. Now, Centicles trains new recruits, manages the fey factories, and dispatches his agents around the globe. Occassionally, he still goes out on missions just to keep the children of the world believing. Is the Centicles you spoke to as a child the real one? Only he knows!


Centicles' Legion Figment